Here are a list of questions I ask myself on a night of dancing.
CHOOSING A LOOK
- Is this outfit going to invite unwanted attention?
- Is this the outfit that will be held up in court for why I was “asking for it”?
EN ROUTE
- Is this route on brightly lit streets?
- If I take a cab, will I arrive safely to my destination?
- Should I share my Uber’s live location with my friends?
IN LINE
- Do I have enough money to afford cover?
- Is the bouncer going to let me in with this ID and the gender that I was assigned?
- Why are they getting let in before me when I’ve been waiting in line for 30 min?
- Why is the bouncer looking through my purse? Have I done something wrong? Do I have something to hide?
- Why is he touching me like that? Does this remind me of ways I’ve been touched in the past? Of suppressed memories of unwanted hands in my bra?
ON THE DANCEFLOOR
- Was that a hand on my back? Who’s pulling my arm?
- What did he say? Do I need to respond? Is it rude if I don’t?
- Should I walk away? Will he follow me?
AT THE BAR
- How many drinks have I had? Am I too intoxicated to take care of myself?
- Where can I put my drink down? Should I leave it? Will someone put something in it?
IN THE BATHROOM
- Which bathroom should I go into? Will I get weird looks in that one? Is it safe for me to go into that one? Will the bouncer stop me?
BACKSTAGE
- Should I have brought USBs instead of my controller? The other DJ said no one would respect me unless I use CDJs
- Why won’t the bouncer let me in the booth? He doesn’t believe me that I’m the next DJ?
- Why is the sound guy standing over me? Doesn’t he know I can set up my own gear?
- What is this guy yelling in my ear? I’m his favourite girl DJ?
- Do I look too femme? Are people taking me seriously?
- Why is the sound guy reaching over me to adjust the EQ? Can’t he hear I’m in the middle of a transition?
TIME TO GO
- Should I go to the after party?
- Who’s house is it at? Do I know them? Is it safe?
- How will I stay up?
- Do I have money to get home?
- Is everyone going to be high?
Have you asked yourself these questions? If you have, you are probably female/femme, queer, trans, non-binary, differently-abled, Black, Brown, living in poverty, dispossessed, and/or oppressed.
This list is an excerpt from a spoken word piece I performed in Berlin as part of The Smart Connections Challenge. I was 1 of 19 entrepreneurs brought to Berlin to ideate on how Telekom Electronic Beats could meet the needs and aspirations of millennials. For me, the biggest need is to make dance music culture safer and more inclusive so I wrote this piece to illustrate the harsh realities of a regular night out for anyone who’s not White, cis-male, straight or privileged.
So, how can we create a world with LESS QUESTIONS, MORE DANCING?
